The Depression Trap

Do our thoughts cause our feelings or do our feelings cause our thoughts? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is based on the theory that feelings are caused by thoughts. This seems to make a lot of sense. If we spend all our time thinking that our life is awful, we are useless and nothing is ever going to get better then it’s not surprising that we end up feeling sad, hopeless and despairing. Equally if we think we will succeed, recognise all the positive things in our life and think that things will improve this may help us to feel happy, optimistic and positive.

However, life isn’t always as simple as this. Anyone who has suffered from deep depression will tell you that no amount of positive thinking makes the depression go away. Positive thinking seems to help in certain situations – when depression is mild, when we are feeling a bit down, when we were previously unaware that negative thinking could make us feel bad etc. In other cases it doesn’t help and can even make us feel worse. People can end up feeling guilty or a failure because they can’t manage to change their thoughts, or because changing thoughts doesn’t work in the way they are told it should. Or trying to force ourselves to think positively can lead to suppressed emotions which lead to problems later on.

There are also times when our emotions seem to emerge without a related thought. We may suddenly feel wonderful as we take a walk in the sunshine, with no particular thought in our head. We may suddenly be overwhelmed with sadness while writing our shopping list. Where do these emotions come from? Are they from somewhere deeper – beyond thought? Are the triggered by unconscious thought? These emotions may themselves give rise to thoughts. On feeling wonderful we may suddenly think ‘isn’t the world beautiful’. On feeling overwhelmed with sadness we may find ourselves thinking ‘ everything is pointless’.

So it appears that sometimes thought leads to emotion and sometimes emotion leads to thought. This can lead to a re-enforcing effect – positive emotion leading to positive thoughts which lead to more positive emotions which lead to more positive thoughts etc. Certainly thoughts are not the only things that can affect our mood, consider music, sunshine, a hug, the smell of flowers, images, etc.

Many suffering from severe depression find the idea that positive thinking could cure them insulting. They know that their condition is much more complex than that. This doesn’t mean that there is no place for positive thinking, but there are times when we need to allow our emotions to play out. This is particularly the case where our depression or low mood is caused by an external event. It is only natural to feel sad, hopeless, despairing when a loved one has died, at the break up of a relationship, or after some other major loss. Here our emotions are part of a natural grieving cycle that needs to play out. To try to force ourselves to be happy too quickly can just lead to repressed emotions that will come back to haunt us later on. There are times when we need to allow ourselves to go into the depths of despair in order to emerge on the other side.

So when do we need to let ourselves experience our emotions and when is positive thinking more appropriate? I think that for many of us this is a natural progression. In a healthy grieving cycle when we aren’t being rushed by ourselves or others there will come a time when we naturally feel ready to move on. The problems occur when this natural cycle is disturbed, when we get stuck in our grief, or stuck in depression for some other reason. When this happens it can be difficult to know when to try the positive thinking approach and when to allow ourselves to fully experience our emotions.

I think it can be helpful for everyone to understand how their thoughts can influence their emotions and to practice observing how their thoughts and emotions are linked. At this level you don’t have to make any changes that feel inappropriate, you are just observing what is. It may then become obvious to you that some thoughts aren’t helpful and you may choose to change them. Or, you may discover that your emotions are not linked to particular thoughts and that some deeper process seems to be taking place. Where emotions are not linked directly to thoughts then some other way of tapping into the emotions may be useful, such as drawing, painting, writing a journal, writing poetry, etc. The point here is not to create a masterpiece, but to find an outlet for your emotions.

Science is a long way from understanding how our emotions arise. There are various theories, but no one really knows for sure. The best expert on your emotions is you. By studying yourself, how your emotions arise, how your thoughts arise, what helps you, what hinders you; you can gain even more knowledge. Perhaps what you learn about yourself may help others.

What do you think? What has worked/failed for you? Post a comment to share your experience and ideas with others.

For a limited time only I am selling the paperback version of ‘The Depression Trap’ at a reduced price of £7.99.

Please post your comments and feedback on the book. Also any suggestions for future editions or future books on depression. What do you think would be helpful?